Author: Niagara Mommy

Temper Tantrums or Why I Don’t Want to Play Today

Posted August 9, 2015 by Niagara Mommy in Mommy Stuff / 0 Comments

It takes every last ounce of your energy to survive your kid's epic temper tantrums.

Tantrums are the worst. Honestly, I’d rather listen to a symphony of nails on a chalkboard than deal with a temper tantrum. There’s no reasoning, no logic, no common sense and most of all no filter when your kid is flailing on the floor, screaming, crying and telling you you’re the shittiest mommy ever.

It takes every last ounce of your energy to survive your kid's epic temper tantrums.

This morning I played dragons with B, (she’s a fan of How To Train Your Dragon) and, as usual, I was the bad guy, sneaking up on the good guys and kidnapping Toothless. I then had a meeting with my henchmen, while the good guys rescued Toothless from right under my nose. Rats, foiled again. It’s the same scenario, over and over again.

Later on, she wanted me to play again. I told her no, that Daddy will play while Mommy takes a nap.

Well, shit. I got knocked off my feet by the barrage of “PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE”‘s firing out of her mouth like bullets. I told her again, the answer is no, Mommy is going for a nap.

Again, with the pleases. I turned off the cartoons, told her that her whining was unacceptable. “I wanna watch my cartoons!!!!”, she yelled. “Just go to bed, Mommy!” I was like, “The fuck did you say?!” I sent her to her room for talking back to me, where she proceeded to throw an epic temper tantrum.

Holy shit, child! I mean, do you think your whining is going to make me change my mind? It only solidifies my resolve to tell you no again. What’s wrong with playing by yourself? You can do that. What’s wrong with playing with Daddy? You can do that too. He’s the one who can always get you to smile. And you don’t get to spend as much time with him.

Why am I the end-all, be-all when it comes to entertaining you?!

What kills me is that this little girl, with her cute curls and bright eyes, knows damn well what she’s doing. She’s pushing and pushing and pushing until she gets her way, with the added side bonus of making me feel like the worst mom E.V.E.R for not playing with her. I swear, at this point I’m like, “She’s gonna write a book at the age of six and tell the world that I never played with her. And I’ll end up on bloody Maury Povich, watching as she storms off stage to throw another tantrum because I wouldn’t let her wear make up at the age of ten.”

Well, fuck that, ladies.

As mothers, we want to sleep. We want to sit and drink our coffee in peace. We want to finish the mountain of dishes in the sink. We want to use the bathroom and take a shower by ourselves. We want to put make-up on and feel pretty again. We want to do general grown up things, anything but play with you.

My name is Mommy and I don’t want to play today.

But we’re teaching them boundaries right? Right. We’re not a selfish bitches, right? Right. We’re human beings, right?

Pfffhh, nope. We’re mommies.

We’re always there. We’re always with them. We love them with every fibre of our being…

but baby…sweetheart please, I just don’t want to play today.

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There’s Only One Mommy: Four Strategies for Transitioning to Two Children

Posted August 5, 2015 by Niagara Mommy in Mommy Stuff / 0 Comments

Transitioning from one to two children can be scary for your only child. Try these four strategies to make everyone's life a bit easier.

Kids are much more resilient little critters than we give them credit for, but when it comes to a new addition to your family of three, you might be worried about how your first will react to not being an only child anymore. You’re definitely not alone in that. During my pregnancy with Baby G, I worried a lot about B and her transition. What if she hated her new baby brother? What if she bullied him, or was jealous of all the attention he was getting?

I went in search of help from other two-kid moms I knew. Here are four strategies I used to ease the transition and help B understand how her life was about to change:

Transitioning from one to two children can be scary for your only child. Try these four strategies to make everyone's life a bit easier.

Four Strategies for Transitioning to Two Children

1.  Have a big brother/sister party:  I’ll admit it didn’t have the earth-shattering impact I thought it would, but still, she got a couple of presents and ate cake and ice cream. I think she’d call it a win. Just grandparents and mommy and daddy, no need to make a huge production of it. I ordered a cake and had them put blue icing in the middle, so this made it even more fun for her. She was hoping for pink, but still seemed happy with blue, and like I said, it was cake!

2.  Shop for a special toy together:  Baby G was entering the world in December, so it made sense for B and I to shop for his very first Christmas present together. She spent most of her time playing with the baby toys on the shelf, but finally settled on one. We took it home and she helped me wrap it up and she placed it neatly under the tree. The idea of her baby brother to opening HER present on Christmas morning was very exciting.

3.  Talk openly about the new arrival:  It sounds obvious, I know. This pregnancy made me want to crawl under my desk and have a nap, and be quite ok with the filthy 20-year-old carpet under my head. So, engaging my three-year old about how she was feeling about having a new baby brother in her life just seemed like another thing that would keep me from my bed. But I did talk to her, and she talked to me. I asked her questions and she asked me questions. When will the baby come?  Mommy’s getting bigger, that means Baby G is growing too. Daily conversations like this became as regular as if he were already there. We even talked to other big sisters we knew and asked them questions. She felt secure about it when he did come, with no big surprises.

4. How Many Mommies Do You Have?:  Probably the best “Mommy Hack” my mind has come up with.  During one of our conversations, I asked her “How many mommies do you have?” She said “One.” “Right, and how many kids will there be?” “Two,” she said. “Right, so Baby G will need a mommy too. Do you think you can share your mommy with him?”  The answer was yes.

*VICTORY DANCE* I am a parenting GENIUS!!!, Right here, that’s right, I’ll be here all week, pick up your autographed copy of my book at the door on your way out. Thank you, goodnight!

Ok, so I’m not a parenting guru, but man, I still felt like a genius. It was something that made sense to her, it was logical, and she could get her head around it. I still use it today, when I’m feeding him and she wants her snack, or whatever. Other factors that made it easier were things like her age. She was three and a half when G was born, so she had a great concept of sharing and boundaries. Now that he’s here, I couldn’t be luckier. She’s so great with him, and as he reaches each milestone, we talk about how he got there and how she’s helped him.

I’m still holding my breath though. He’s not crawling yet. *cringe*

Hope this helps some expectant moms out there, it sure worked with B. Best of luck for a smooth transition!

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Baby G and XXXXY Syndrome: The Diagnosis

Posted August 2, 2015 by Niagara Mommy in Baby G and XXXXY Syndrome / 0 Comments

How she found out about her son's chromosomal abnormality, known as 49, XXXXY Syndrome.

The last thing any mother expects when she’s pregnant is finding out there’s something wrong with her baby. Even less than that, does she expect something as rare as 49,XXXXY Syndrome. My son has a total of four X chromosomes and one Y, and this is my story.

How she found out about her son's chromosomal abnormality, known as 49, XXXXY Syndrome.

Thirteen weeks into my pregnancy, like a lot of women, I got screened for any fetal abnormalities. My alpha fetal protein (AFP) level came back extremely high. My midwife said it could very well be nothing, but sent me to a university hospital to make sure.

After an hour and a half long ultrasound, the obstetrician didn’t really see anything physical that would push the AFP level so high. I was a bit of a mystery at first, especially since my levels went back to normal a few weeks later. Speaking to a few high-risk obstetricians, we concluded that the raised AFP was a fluke, and that the spinal issues that would normally be seen, just weren’t there. “It’s a gorgeous spine.”, they said. I consented to an amino anyway, in preparation for any other issues he might have. Low and behold, he had three extra X chromosomes, for a total of four, and one Y.

Wow. How will having so many extra chromosomes affect Baby G?

Here’s the low-down. 49, XXXXY Syndrome is very rare, with varying degrees of issues occurring because of it, some physical, some mental. After receiving the news, I spoke to a genetic pediatrician, who was fantastic at listening to my questions and only telling me what I really wanted to know. At the time, I just wanted to have a baby. I’d had three ultrasounds, an MRI and an amino. I really only cared about what I could expect to see in the first year, as a result of these extra chromosomes. They told me I would see delays in milestones like crawling, walking, talking, etc. but not much else in the first year.

The doctors also told me that long-term, he may need help with learning in school, puberty would be a challenge for him, low sex drive (not a bad thing for a teen in my book), and worst case, he might be infertile. Overall, I left the conversation feeling very positive about the pregnancy and about what we could expect to see in Baby G.

After he was born, I went back to the genetic pediatrician for an assessment. She looked at him and said, “He looks totally normal”, not having most of the characteristics typical of the syndrome, other than low birth weight. She actually sent us for a blood test to confirm that his sex chromosomes were in fact XXXXY, which kinda made me smile. But yes, the blood test confirmed it.

So as I watch him grow over this year, I look forward to sharing what I’m seeing in his development. In the meantime, Baby G is happy, healthy and growing strong. He’s sitting up on his own, eating better, babbling, smiling, giggling and loving baby life!img_8575

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