I spent most of today with B, it being a PA Day and all (no school). My mom came over to mind Baby G and I took B to the toy store, any kid’s dream.
She asked if we could take a toy home today and I said yes. It’s been a while since we’d just bought a new toy for the heck of it, and I like to treat her occasionally. We looked in and among the plastic dragon and fairy figurines, my heart palpitating at the thought of yet another bloody dragon in the house, stealthily waiting for me to step on it. I breathed a sigh of relief when she settled on a new Play Mobil miniature set; a horse, rider and a stable. When we returned, we played while my mom made her lunch.
In the afternoon, she and I went to an indoor playland. And I got right up into the playscape with her, climbing and clamoring higher and higher into the plastic, padded jungle gym. We got to the top, where she showed me the black tube slide. “Very spooky”, she said. So down she went, shouting for me to follow.
I hoisted my mommy butt up into the dark tunnel and pushed myself down, phone in hand, keys hooked to my jeans.
It was so great, but man, after about the sixth time I was ready to sit, my head spinning from all the twisting and turning. And as I took a break, the memories of all the times we’d done this together at other playlands flashed through my mind, from when she was just walking, to toddling, to today.
But, soon it won’t be cool for me to climb up into the fiberglass coconut tree.
She’ll have new friends and playmates to replace me. I suppose my 38-year-old body will probably be grateful (holy shit, that’s coming up fast!), but I think I’ll actually miss it a little.
The day-to-day frustrations can keep me from seeing what a truly unique and beautiful person she is growing up to be, with her fun sense of humor, determined mind, and kind heart. And I saw all of those things in her today.
And without either of us knowing it, she shows me the awesome things about myself that I never notice or give myself credit for.
Maybe it’s the voices I do when we read “Toad on the Road”, or maybe it’s the lullabye I sing to her every night. Maybe it’s the way I hold her when she’s sad, or maybe it’s that I slide down the “spooky” slide right along with her. She reflects all these rockstar-mommy things I do for her right back to me, just in being who she is. She is a mirror in my life.
Huh, isn’t that something…
My own daughter shows me every day how I am a rockstar mommy.
And I didn’t realize it until just now.
How about you? How do your kids show you all your mommy-awesomeness?